Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
