Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
