he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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