I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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