I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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