Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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