no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
