Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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