I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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