Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
