I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
