We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize