I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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