imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
