Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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