Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
