So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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