Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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