In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
