super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
