I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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