guys are not supposed to queef...right?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
