the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
