I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't turn off my feet"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
