hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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