Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
