a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
