i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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