I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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