Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
