I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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