I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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