FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize