but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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