she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There r osticjed everywhere
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
