I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
