I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The Olympian is in my bed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
