Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
