You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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