she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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