one two three fourrrrnication!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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