i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
