I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
