Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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