The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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