Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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