You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
