I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
