absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
