What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
