super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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