im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
