hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Enjoy the penises
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