i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
A bitchslap is in order.
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