Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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