Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love having hate sex.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
