If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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