That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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