I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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