So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
