I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
