i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm always down for nudity.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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