she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
