so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
