Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
